I will carry all the weights tonight
Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first.
Steve Irwin (via bl-ossomed)
"Motherfucker, and I just kissed you."

"Motherfucker, and I just kissed you."


how come when someone decides to eat only fruits and vegetables people commend them for their “willpower” and “diligence” but when i decide to eat a diet composed entirely of mozzarella sticks and vodka suddenly i’m “out of control” and “putting myself in danger”

It makes me cringe every time the writers of Parks and Recreation demonstrate that they just barely watch Game of Thrones.